And today, most blessedly of all, we’ve been given Tim-goatee Chalamet ... Jack Sparrow to their frat’s Halloween party. It is a soul patch that suddenly felt insecure and crawled down ...

And most crucially, they haven’t had a single player with a goatee, Van Dyke, or soul patch since 1976. This was the bedrock of Yankee exceptionalism. Although Joe DiMaggio famously said ...